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I was asked to contribute a post to the blog, Footprints on My Heart, about my relationship with a Saint.

Inspired by reading Colleen Carroll Campbell's My Sisters the Saints, Sarah was inspired to collect stories from others on their relationships with the Saints throughout our lives. Do check out this memoir- it is a page turner, quite touching, and has made the list of one of my favorite books.

Here is my contribution, the story of my friendship with Saint Lucy.  It's quite an honest look at the spiritual journey I have been on the past few years, and I was glad to have a faithful friend by my side. 

 
And as we do so, let’s remember that I am indeed an event planner, not a dietitian.  But food is something for which I have great passion.  And now that there is one major event down, I am back in the swing of my typical lifestyle, and that includes healthy, homemade foods.

I am currently reading a book, Bread and Wine by Shauna Niequist, that I was given for my birthday last year (another great part about being back to “normal” I can actually read the books I own). A book about life and food? Yes, please! It is safe to say that I’m gobbling through the pages because this woman is genuinely interesting, her Midwestern perspective very relatable, and her recipes that accompany the chapters- delicious!

As I read, aside from thinking about what I want to cook next and reminiscing about the significant moments and food in my own family, I find myself thinking about our relationship with food. In today’s world so much about food has become jumbled, disordered, or utilitarian.  But I think our relationship with food, as with people, should be built on intention.  If we are intentional with what we eat, all is well and we feel nourished and satisfied.  Of course the intentions vary, but here are few I can pin point in my own life.

1. Nourishment.  Above all, food is intended to run our bodies and help us get through the day feeling strong.  This is the reason food is a necessity in our lives, and this is the primary intention for food, as some people in our world struggle to have enough food to survive. On the other hand, we are very lucky and have access to any food we could possible want.  But we still need to eat with intention.

Our bodies need all sorts of vitamins, minerals, and vast amount of other nutrients to thrive. So because we can buy whatever our heart desires at the grocery store, our first objective should be to buy the foods that our bodies need to operate well. That’s right---a balanced diet of healthy food comes first.  And what that diet looks like will vary from person to person to accommodate food sensitivities or allergies or a specific purpose. I don’t have a list of rules, I just try to keep “empty food” to a minimum; if it isn’t nutrient rich, I most likely do not need to be consuming it on a regular basis. My intentional nutrition contains plentiful amounts of protein, fiber, and healthy fats, and very low carbs and sugars day to day.  I have hypoglycemia, a condition that can worsen if neglected and escalate to insulin resistance, so I work daily to consume foods that will help maintain my blood sugar throughout the day and not take me on a sugar roller coaster.  I keep nutrition consistent, but not hard and fast—as I mentioned, nutrition is the primary intention for our food, but it is not the only one.

2. Enjoyment.  I also firmly believe that we should enjoy what we eat.  Loving food can start with the recipes, ingredients, and plans for our meals; and it can carry through to the flavors and textures. I eat a lot of healthy food, vegetables being my favorite, I-need-to-eat-this-right-now food, but that does not mean that food is boring or tasteless.  I have fun with my food. I try a couple new recipes each month and write down the keepers. I share the amazing ones I stumble across with family and friends.  I do not want to become an individual who find herself rushed for meals and consumes food mindlessly, tastelessly, just because I need to eat. I am intentional about enjoying my food. And trust me, when I eat healthy, scrumptious food, it seems like the food loves me back, and I feel as if I can take on the world.

3. Celebration. I bet you were wondering where the cake comes in to play.  Here.  There are some situations where our intention is not to consume foods that will nourish our bodies, but rather, nourish our spirits.  I’m not saying sweets are the only way to do so, but a celebratory gathering with friends for an occasion should be marked with something to make it special. Food is such an integral part of our lives that it seems almost silly to have a celebration where it is not included. One of my favorite past times is baking.  For a party, I will always come with dessert. It is extraordinary and fun to craft a treat that people can enjoy while in the warm company of others. So when you intend to celebrate, don’t forget the dinner filled with a few more calories and the dessert. 
Thank you, Shauna, for sharing your stories that have accompanied me on warm Sunday mornings over a hot cup of coffee, or a windy evening with some chicken-bean chili (that I pulled from your book). It has been gratifying to contemplate the ways that faith, people, and food are so integrated together and play such a significant role in our lives, and how rich life can be when we are intentional with others, with ourselves, and with our food. 

 
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Now that I am back at home and working on all the little things that come with getting life back to normal after a conference (buying real food, changing the oil in my neglected car, dealing with apartment complex issues, and exercising for the first time in weeks), I am working on mentally processing the entire event.  When I was trying to come up with 7QT ideas for the week, my brain was still primarily running in Student Leadership Summit mode. So here we go with a 7QT on all things SLS14.

1—Power Sessions

The Summit was a new conference design for us, based on the concept that our student leaders should be able to teach others about what they have learned by the time they leave.  This meant that essentially, the success of the conference was almost entirely based on the college students taking responsibility for the material they were learning in sessions and teaching it to their peers in their small groups. 

For said small groups, we have everyone gather in one massive exhibition hall in the afternoons.  There were countdown clocks running for exercises to keep them on track.  We worked hard on the design of these “Power Sessions,” but there was still the chance that everything could break down into complete chaos.

Perhaps one of my favorite moments of the entire conference was during the first of the Power Sessions, where we watched the students teach each other, pray with each other, and collaborate, all in a very peaceful way.  It was beautiful, and the first thought through my head was, “It’s actually working!” Way to go, Student Leaders. 

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2—Adoration Night

Always one of the most beautiful and powerful nights at any of our conference for the attendees, this night was actually a very powerful one for me.  You see, this conference came together against some odds, with a few battles, and a lot of hard work.  But taking a moment to pause in prayer with 2,000 others, while many lined up for hours for the Sacrament of reconciliation, I saw how beautifully God was working in these students’ lives.  I was so moved, and do you know what? I would do it all over again to give the students that gift. 

3—Miracle Flights

SLS took place January 3-7 in Dallas, TX.  As you may recall, while we were wearing our light jackets deep in the heart of Texas, the rest of the country was experiencing winter at its finest (worst?).  The Midwest was frozen solid with below 0-degree temperatures, and the Northeast was in a blizzard.

It just so happened that two of our speakers are with the Sisters of Life in New York.  I prayed fervently that they would be able to make it, or else… an open keynote slot?! The night prior to conference, they called and let me know that theirs was the only flight not canceled so far, and they were doing everything possible to try and make it.  I went to bed so nervous that night, as I was sure they would have a canceled itinerary.  But I woke up the next morning to a voicemail saying they were on the plane, and I nearly cried from joy!  They were the first (and possibly only) to leave Newark that day.  The Sisters of Life prayed their way to SLS!

One of my sub-committee heads for speakers was stranded in Chicago with a canceled flight as well.  Dana heard someone yell out, “Anyone want to go to Houston?” She impulsively hopped on a Houston flight and grabbed a rental car to get to Dallas on time. 


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4—Panel Discussion

Another something new for us this year was a “TED Talk” style closing keynotes.  We heard from Helen Alvare, Patrick Lencioni, and Joe Hensler, three individuals who live out the faith in tremendous leadership roles in our society.

After all three talks, our President, Curtis Martin, joined them on stage for a panel discussion.  That was a whole lot of inspiration in one room!


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5—Entertainment          

I always love working with bands.  Coordinating shows is one of the favorite parts of my job description, but not for the reason you might think. There are so many moving pieces to coordinate both ahead of time and the day of a show.  It’s like a puzzle that you work to fit all of the pieces together so the day runs smoothly.  Having done shows for both L’Angelus and Matt Maher before, this time was vastly more fun! I was better able to anticipate needs and create a better schedule for the day, and of course, they are all fun people with which to work.  It’s great to meet the people I have been emailing for months and see those who I have worked with previously and catch up. Shout and special thanks to missionaries Jonathan Sanchez-Hidalgo, Zach Tucker, and David Hickson for their selfless gift of time the whole day doing work with the best servant leadership attitudes ever!

We also worked with a talented team from the Dallas Comedy House who put together a special improv/sketch show for us with some FOCUS-specific humor and special guest appearances by some of our top speakers.


PictureExtended team photo!
6—Team Life

In general, the events team has a lot of fun together, but there is nothing like being on-site and enjoying (yes, that’s right!) the event that we have put so much of our efforts and time into creating. Because the event ran so smoothly, it gave us extra time to talk, eat together without having to run off, have drinks together, and observe the event as it unfolded. We were also able to get some quality time with our “extended members,” the missionaries who work on-campus but help us run events on-site.  What would we do without them!  Overall, it was a great conference experience and time well spent as a team. 


7-Join us next year!

While not SLS-
related, I just had to include a sneak peek video for next year's national conference, SEEK 2015.  Have a look!
 
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So it is getting to that time of year again. Yes, the holidays, but I’m referring to the time where life is pretty much events, events, events.  With an event that occurs the first week in January, inevitably there are  sacrifices to ensure its success.

For instance, we have a registration deadline on December 3, right after Thanksgiving break. Students will likely need help with their registration until this date, and of course we want them to attend.  So that means frequent email checks while my family is preparing our traditional Thanksgiving dishes and getting the house decorated for Advent/Christmas.  

I need to get all of the program content organized and to our graphic designer in the time between the deadline for teachers to turn in their material (the day before Thanksgiving) and our graphic designer’s deadline (the day after Thanksgiving). I will likely make Friday an early morning of work to see this project through.

And of course, with our event opening January 3, I will spend the time around Christmas doing last-minute prep and New Year’s Eve checking into our hotel onsite.

Does this rigorous holiday schedule sometimes cause emotionally trying moments when I get down about the amount of time I have to give to my family and friends? You bet. But with this year being my second go-around with crazy event schedules I have learned a few ways to keep that guilt at a minimum and be able to feel more accomplished.

     1. Time management—this may seem like a second nature item to discuss around the holidays, but for me, it is non-negotiable. I have planned out everything that needs to get done between now and when I get on a plane on Tuesday, and I have allotted the time to do it all.  Not only that, but I have time planned out for personal tasks too, like prayer, working out, wedding planning, and social engagements. Just because an event is fast approaching, it doesn’t mean personal time is eliminated. And that brings me to…

     2. Boundaries—it is inevitable that I will be working over holidays and times when the office is closed.  But I set those times.  I allot enough time for me to get the work done that I know needs to be complete, and I give myself enough time to give due diligence to those projects.  I plan time in my calendar that is strictly work-related in order to give some necessary separation between work and home life.  And the boundaries work both ways. When I am with my family and fiancé, work is off the table and they come first.  Having firm boundaries has freed my life of much undue stress over the past few months.  I am able to enjoy both my career and my personal life.

     3. Dying to self—while probably unexpected, this point is the most important.  Even with schedules set, when work time rolls around during times when I would rather be participating in Thanksgiving and Christmas festivities, I will need to buckle down and log into my email. It is never easy to sacrifice precious time with loved ones over the holidays, but it is for the good of our work, our conferences, and ultimately, our students.

The moment our conference opens and I look out over the ballroom filled with students anticipating the five days to come, I am peaceful, and I am glad for the time I invested.  Despite the sacrifice, there is no other career I would rather have, and no other organization I would rather be investing myself and my time. In the end, it all works out. And I am still able to enjoy breaks to savor holiday prayer time and time at home.


 
PictureThe events office was festively decorated when I arrived, and Javi had sent me flowers earlier in the week.
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Well, as of yesterday, I am officially one year older. It was a “Thai, pie” birthday!  I came to work to all of these decorations. And then my team and I all went out for Thai food for lunch—pineapple fried rice- Yum!  Speaking of yum, Christina made a delicious apple pie!  Then I went home to more Thai food, peanut curry made by my roommates, and cherry pie.  I was a full, happy, 23 year old.  And perhaps the best part of the day was Skype with Javi, a call with Mom, and a call with Scott.  Just lovely. 


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After seeing those pictures, you may be thinking, “that office knows how to party!”  Indeed we do.  The events team knocked boss’s day out of the park this month.  However, we missed Wombat Day last week, as we were just unprepared. Well, there is always next year.  And just so you are not caught off guard, Wombat day is October 22.

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In two days I am off to the Rejuvenate Marketplace Meeting Planners’ Conference in Daytona Beach.  It will be 4 days of non-stop conversations with vendors and venues, and hopefully a collection of a lot of great ideas from the event planning industry.  Be prepared for an upcoming post about reverse trade shows and Soledad O’Brien. 

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Last Saturday we had a “Fall day” excursion to a pumpkin patch in Boulder followed by butternut squash macaroni and cheese for our fall dinner party. It was a great day of fellowship and everything autumn. 

Joining me in the picture is Michelle Lippoli, the guest contributor from my last post


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Check out this video! It’s the trailer for the reality show on EWTN that followed students at our last SEEK national conference. 

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This is fun. See what state best fits your personality. You know it just sparked your interest.  I turned out to be Montana.  I could see it fitting as far as my desire for calmness and my introverted nature.  But am I considering a move to Montana?  No, thank you.

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It is Friday in the office, our bosses are gone, and we are getting antsy.  Our solution? Shoot a team video, of course.  I will consider sharing the completed version later.

 

 
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I am proud to welcome guest contributor, Michelle Lippoli, from My Life (In Lists) as together we tackle this article from a Catholic organization arguing against the higher education of women.  Our commentary is admittedly lengthy, but worth it!

Dear Raylan Alleman of Fix the Family,
Thank you for stepping up and trying to fight the death of something that our culture is very slowly killing: the family. You said it yourself, 50%+ of marriages end in divorce, leaving both parties and the children broken, wounded, and feeling abandoned. Our culture is one of death and tries to stick its head in the sand further each passing day. We share your hurt that our culture, our families, and our faith seems to be falling apart.

Please, before you read further know that we want the same thing. We want a world full of individuals and people who are passionately committed to and in love with Jesus Christ and His Church. We want hope, we want healing, and we want to see an end to this darkness. We want it so much that we both have given up a minimum of two years of a stable career and have fundraised our salaries with the conviction that Christ is the answer to our problems.

Raylan, though we may agree on those fundamental issues, we wholeheartedly disagree on the position Fix the Family has that parents should not send their daughters to college. In your September 8 blog post you stated that “the rejection [you] receive is always emotionally charged and ends up insulting.” As fellow laborers for Christ, we don’t want to do that. We hope you will indulge us, as fellow Catholics who are striving to bring about a culture of life, in our response to your article. We promise to try not to “[run] out of substance and…hurl insults.”

Here are your 6 (+2) reasons to NOT send your daughter to college followed by why we respectfully, yet wholeheartedly disagree.

1. She will attract the wrong types of men.

Carol: My initial response to this claim is simply, “So virtuous, moral men ignore college-educated women?” Of course there are lazy men out there. I’m sure everyone could probably name a few they know. But if your goal really is an ambitious, driven man with dreams, I couldn’t think of a better place to find one than at a higher education institution.

However, I would actually argue that this is all honestly beside the point.  I didn’t go to college to meet men, nor do I think we should perpetuate this as the reason women go to college. Let’s put more emphasis on the fact that college education does produce “responsible, organized, [and] smart” women, just like the article states. So what if lazy men are attracted to them because they can care for people?  That doesn’t mean said woman has to decide to marry him and doom herself to a future role as the primary caregiver. A woman’s education cannot be the source of blame as to why a man will not “man up” and work for his family. There are obviously deeper issues at work in the whole scenario of a lazy husband—it’s not simply because he has an educated wife.

Michelle: I am reminded of a quote that a very wise Missionary gave to my Bible Study my junior year of college:
      “To a great extent the level of any civilization is the level of its       
      womanhood. When a man loves a woman, he has to become worthy of 
      her. The higher her virtue, the more noble her character, the more    
      devoted she is to truth, justice, goodness, the more a man has to aspire 
      to be worthy of her. The history of civilization could actually be written in 
      terms of the level of its women.”
                                               - Fulton Sheen, Life is Worth Living

You speak of how there are many lazy men and how women marry them and allow their husbands to become dependent on them. This may be true, but do we not lower our standards for the desire to be loved? I remember a very wounded time in my college career when I made impulsive decisions because I just wanted to be loved and to experience love.

But here’s the thing, no matter what, I will not ever be fulfilled by a man. Even if he is a perfect and model Catholic. The only man whose love will ever fulfill me is Jesus Christ. In order to attract a man who is good and, as Fulton Sheen says, worthy of me, I must attach and conform myself to Christ. The higher I hold myself, the more I am able to see my dignity and worth, the more likely I am to find a man worthy of my love. This principle remains true whether I am in high school, a college student, or a single woman in the world.

2. She will be in a near occasion of sin.

Michelle: “You have a heavy concentration of young people all living together without the supervision of parents at the most sexually charged state of life they will experience.” Yes. This is true. Yet, I have to flip this question around: What about the men? At college, they too are living in this “heavy concentration of young people” and therefore are also being tempted at every moment. If it is not okay for our young women to be in this situation, why is okay for our young men to be in this situation?

Jesus told us to “go therefore and make disciples of ALL nations.” This includes the darkest places in the world – the college campus. We cannot simply pull ourselves away from this culture because it is uncomfortable or too worldly or too hard. We must continue into battle and bring the light of Christ onto the campus. We must find (or build) a community that can support us in our faith and help us to grow (that’s what Newman Centers are for!), and then we must go out.

You ask, “is it prudent to willingly put oneself there?” But let’s look at what Jesus did…He put himself in the midst of sinners and tax collectors and prostitutes. Jesus ate and drank with those who were so lost and shunned by this world. He put Himself in situations where He could have been in a near occasion of sin. Yes, He was perfect and therefore would not fall, but He calls us to follow Him and do the same. If we remove our young Catholic women from the college campus, who will be there to witness to the other women? You can’t say men. There is a depth and beauty to female friendships that allows for true openness to Christ that would be lost if we did not send our Catholic women to college.

We must be willing to get uncomfortable and put ourselves out there for the sake of the gospel.

Carol: I found this point particularly degrading. Are women really so weak that we cannot possibly be expected to handle the temptations of college? How could “anyone expect” us to? I know a good number of women who are in fact proud of the decisions they made in college. I’m not the most holy person —so, seriously, if I can make it through without any huge regrets, I really think a lot of women stand a good chance.  And allow me to share a secret; my free will is in fact my free will. At 18, 19, or 20 years old, a woman is going to exercise that will independently—whether she is at home or in a dorm room.

There is no need to lock your daughters away until they are married. Support the women in your life. Build up their self-worth and empower them to grow in virtue. I do know plenty of women who have fallen, some deeply, into sins in college, and self-identity is at the core. So be loving, supportive, disciplinarians and help your daughters learn this before they leave the nest.

3. She will not learn to be a wife and a mother

Carol: Now this point contradicts the first.  Point one stated that “lazy men who are looking for a mother figure in a wife” are attracted to these responsible, college-educated women. So are they or aren’t they mother figures?

Living on one’s own is a major step in learning how to handle all that life can throw, and there are basic domestic skills that are learned in college out of necessity.  College does not mean domestic skills are neglected.  I am a master with my laundry, I bake, I knit, I am at my most creative when I am experimenting in the kitchen. You can foster these skills and earn a degree at the same time.

It is not just the lifestyle that has the potential to gear towards domesticity. What we learn in college could actually prepare a woman to better manage a household--Baking is chemistry. Caring for the sick and bringing life into the world is biology. Household budgeting, family financial planning, and investments are all finance. Teaching your children is education.

Michelle: I majored in psychology, so maybe my response is biased. Here is a list of courses I took over my four years at Drake that will 100% for sure help me be a mother and run a household one day.
  1. Introduction to Psychology
  2. Understanding Emotions
  3. Information Systems
  4. World History
  5. Social Psychology
  6. Abnormal Psycholog
  7. Introduction to Management
  8. Child Development
  9. Psychological Assessment
  10. Adolescent Literature
  11. Personal Finance
  12. Adolescence
  13. Leadership and Personal Development
  14. Research with a professor on self-compassion
  15. Psychology of Aggression
  16. Personality
Maybe I didn’t learn how to cook a gourmet meal or clean a house, but do you know what I did learn? I learned how to write. I learned how to analyze an article, a book, a movie, a blog post, and put it up against what I know to be True and critically analyze it. I learned to make decisions for myself. I learned to compromise with others, how to communicate, and how to analytically solve a problem. I learned how to be informed and how to make a difference in this world.

My liberal arts education helped me become an intelligent, independent thinking woman who can process, analyze, and address the world around her. As a mother, all of these skills I gained from my education will help me to raise intelligent children who can also make decisions, think for themselves, and influence the world around them. My children, my relationship with my husband, and my family will all be better and stronger because of my Drake education.

4. The cost of a degree is becoming more difficult to recoup.

Carol:  Yes, yes it is.  I have student loan debt, as does my fiance. And whether I continue in my career or choose to stay at home, the years of experiences, knowledge, friendships, and struggles will have all been worth those payments. Always. I chose to attend a more expensive school than I needed to; I was searching for quality educational programs, hands-on learning experience, and top extracurricular activities. I went into my education knowing that I may want a fast-paced career, or that I may want to stay at home; there was nothing that I did not consider when making that decision. I do not regret all that my education has brought me, in spite of my loans.

Michelle: Yes. This is true. However, I would argue that you can be equally frugal if both husband and wife are paying off loans. It’s about being smart, planning, and being willing to compromise. Read Dave Ramsey.

5. You don’t have to prove anything to the world.

Michelle: Christ calls us all in so many different ways. Yes, some women and men may not be called to college. However, we need holy lay people of both genders in all professions if we are to convert the world (which Jesus told us to do)!

One of my favorite saints is St. Gianna Mola. St. Gianna was everything that a Catholic mother should be: intelligent, loving, devoted to her family and to Christ. She eventually sacrificed her life for the sake of her child. And here’s the kicker: St. Gianna was a working doctor. Not only did she go to college, she went on to med school! She is an excellent example of a female lay woman who changed the world with her college education. St. Gianna is a rare saint: she is a lay person. We need more lay saints. We need more examples of how we can be in this world but not of it, of how we can be educated women who are making a huge difference in this world.

Helen Alvare is another example of one of my favorite educated women. She spoke at SEEK this past year and holy cow was she an inspiration to me. Helen is a professor of law at George Mason University, the editor of Women Speak for Themselves, an attorney and consultant for the USCCB, a wife, and a mother. Helen spoke to us on what it truly meant to be successful and on things like the HHS Mandate and the pill. I could go on and on about her and this topic for hours, but I won’t (maybe a future post!?).

For other holy, educated, Catholic women, check out Colleen Carroll Campbell, Dorothy Day, Flannery O’Conner, and St Edith Stien.

Carol: No, you do not have to prove anything to world.  But you may want to prove something to yourself.  You may want a challenge, an adventure, an exciting experience. But with “society being so fixated with the feminist idea of women having to have a job and provide an income to have worth,” it is actually a good idea to examine the motivations.  Why do we want to go to college?  What the Fix the Family article refers to much in this section is taking so much pride in one’s collegiate choice, and placing one’s worth there, it is a good idea to try to keep focused on the real educational goals.

But no, it is not a harmful thing for a woman to be working. What if she doesn’t get married? She will need to find some means of providing for herself. And I for one am glad that I have been at least somewhat supporting myself with jobs since high school.  It keeps me from waiting around for someone to take care of me. Too many Catholics today veer away from the term feminism.  But feminism is like anything else—the virtue is in the middle.  We cannot be so extreme as to say that women have no place in the world other than in a domestic role, but we can also not go so far as to reject our intrinsic nature and dignity by shoving our feminine qualities out the window.  Bl. Pope John Paul II writes in his letter to women, specifically to women who work, that they are an “indispensable contribution to the growth of a culture which unites reason and feeling” (Letter to Women, para. 2). There is happy medium where you can both be feminine, in every sense of the word, and professionally successful.  

6. It could be a near occasion of sin for the parents.

Carol:  You would choose not to allow your daughter to attend college for your own sake?  Parents do not have to be financially involved if they so choose, but parents cannot stop an 18 year old from attaining a higher education.

Michelle: When your child becomes an adult at 18 years old, you are no longer legally responsible for them. From the Church’s perspective, they are past the age of reason, they are confirmed, and they are adults in the Church. It is their choice whether or not to go to college.

7. She will regret it.

Michelle: She might also regret not going to college. However, just because you possess a degree does not mean you have to have a career. You have spoken a lot about being “trapped” by a degree, but we are called to true, deep freedom in Christ. Freedom is not about being able to do what you want, when you want. Rather, it is about knowing Jesus and what He wants for you, followed by the ability to respond to that call. If you know Jesus, you have the freedom to leave a career to respond to a call to exclusively raise a family. If you’re really responding to God’s will, you won’t regret the positive experiences you’ve gained from pursuing a college education and a career.

Carol:  I am sure there are women who do regret their time in college. My guess is this is mainly because of the choices they made. It is difficult to imagine a woman who worked hard in college, learned a substantial amount, bettered herself, and then replied, “I really wish I hadn’t have done that”! When you go to college to learn and study what is interesting specifically to you, there is very little regret because you grow in ways in which you can be proud.

As far as restricting childbearing years, I for one am quite thankful I did not settle down and have a child at 21. Looking back I can easily say I was not emotionally or intellectually mature enough to do so.

8. It could interfere with a religious vocation.

Carol: I know several women who have found their religious vocations after college, and time at the university is actually what got them there. I have seen some of these same women pay off large amounts of debt in a timely fashion in order to enter.  My roommate aids women who wish to enter with a religious order in organizing fundraising techniques to pay off their debt.  In doing so, these women gain a powerful prayer network, sometimes of strangers, that helps provide significant support in the rest of their vocational journey.

Michelle: Like Carol, I know many women who have been called to the religious life and who have had student loans. There are many beautiful organizations that give grants and forgive loans so that women may follow the call of the Lord and enter the convent. If the Lord calls, He will make it possible

Personally, college allowed me a freedom to discern my vocation that would not have been possible if I had not gone. Through campus missionaries, a mission trip, and my Newman Center I encountered so many different beautiful religious sisters who inspired me to draw close to Jesus in all aspects of my life. If I had not gone to Drake, I don’t know if I would have ever truly encountered religious, and therefore I would not have been open to the possibility of a religious vocation. We must also remember that there are orders that do not accept women without a college degree.

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Final Thoughts

Carol: Thinking that the choice to attend college is black and white issue is not taking the entire paradigm into consideration. It will be right for some women, and for others it will not, for a variety of reasons.  But no woman should ever be told that she frankly should not attend college because of her gender. When we enclose virtuous women in a bubble, what happens to everyone else? Who is there to witness to the world the beauty of true womanhood and encourage fellow women in their dignity?  

I recently heard an interesting take on our Mother. Mary is often times depicted crushing a snake--with her bare feet! What a boldness! We are called to be the kind of women that stomp out the sin in this world--women who do not look away from the evil we see, but who name it and defeat it.  Being a modern, Catholic women leaves no room for timidity.  It is time to be strong.  It is time for us to show the world what beauty and virtue truly look like--in all forms.  The world, the college campus, is in more turmoil than ever before, and backing away does not solve that problem.  We need a center, in Jesus Christ and His Church, that continually builds us in virtue.  But as women in particular, we have a gift to nurture.  And this hurting, broken world needs us to exercise that gift now in all ways possible. So women, if you choose to go to college, then learn, grow, become a better person because of it, and let the world know that Catholic women are force to with which to be reckoned. 

Michelle: It seems to me a lot of these reasons come from a place of fear. We fear how we could be living with regret, have too much debt, get into a bad relationship, etc. Yet as Christians, we are called out of this fear! We can rejoice because Christ has won and He is victorious over death. He has redeemed all things.

I look back to the girl I was at 18 and compare her to the woman I am now and I see so much growth. It's only been 5 years, but your twenties are what we call the "critical decade." The decisions you make at this point of life will shape the outcome of the rest of your life. The college campus is a place where young women can go to find themselves, have their minds be formed more fully, and figure out who they are and what they want to be. Yes, it is a dangerous place, but we cannot let fear of sin, fear of debt, or fear of getting stuck keep us from this place that provides so much opportunity for empowerment and growth. 


 
PicturePlanning in our innovative eyelash shape; the amazing light fixtures in the Hyatt ballrooms; floating with the floating monument.
—1

My entire events team just got back from our on-site planning trip to Dallas for our January conference. I would love to go into the beauty of the Hyatt Regency, and how much I love meeting and working with different CSMs (conference services managers).  Our CSM, Rizwan, has been helpful, and he tells us the funniest (and interesting) things.  I would love to elaborate more on his ideas to take over Wolfgang Puck Five Sixty atop the Reunion Tower with my co-worker Sean—naming their masterpiece of cuisine “Sean, Rizwan, and Puck”—sorry, Mr. Wolfgang, they have you outnumbered. I would love to elaborate on just how much steak my team can eat, how we found the floating JFK memorial, and just how much we make each other laugh.

But I will leave it at the basics. We came. We saw. We planned. Now I would like to get some sleep.

—2

Okay, so maybe you would like some more detail, and I would love to give it, but it is truly so hard to sum up how lucky I am to be doing an event planning job I love, and working with people who are just so great.  So here are just a couple snap shots from the trip. I’ll put it this way, we work hard, but we have a lot of fun, too.

—3

While in Dallas, I also was able to spend some time visiting my cousin, Clark, and his girlfriend, Meghan. They made me some amazing pork chili—I didn't leave with the recipe, but I haven’t given up on it yet.  I rarely get to see my cousins, so any chances we have to sneak in a visit are a must.

—4

I am very sad to see our fellowship of the Catholicism Series end next week.  Tuesday nights, our lovely friend, Kate, was willing to host us for dinner, wine, time with some wonderful women, and a video from the series. It was one of the most recreational activities I have taken part in for quite some time. It is just so rejuvenating to learn about your faith, eat great food, and laugh with friends—fellowship and warm hospitality at its finest.

—5

Thankfully, I have another study starting up to take its place. I will be gathering with a couple of other friends to read St. Teresa of Avila’s The Interior Castle. I’m sure this book will really shake things up.

—6

When I woke up this morning, it looked like this outside. So much for fall…

 —7

Has anyone ever talked about the fact that sometimes finding 7 whole things to write about is really hard?  I have officially decided to make 7QT and every-other-week project.  I really enjoy writing, and I am finding this to be a good outlet, but it is hard to keep up with sometimes. So instead of sitting down at the keyboard to quickly bang out a Quick Takes, I would like to give it more time so that the whole experience can be more of a leisurely experience. 

But I do have an exciting post coming up next week! Stay tuned for something theological, feminist, witty, and empowering from myself and guest contributor, Michelle
 
                                                 — 1—      

I am thrilled to be taking part in my very first 7 Quick Takes! Why I am so excited?  Because perhaps my favorite blogger is the creator and host of 7QT. Jennifer Fulwiler is the author of  conversiondiary.com. I have read her blog for years (seriously), so I this feels like quite a blogging (w)rite of passage.

                                                 — 2—      

Also exciting (perhaps just a little bit more exciting than number 1)—the wedding is officially ONE YEAR FROM TODAY! Or as my friend, Cesca, put it, today is my negative-one year anniversary. Yes, in 365 days, I will be a Mrs.!

I am very much looking forward to it, and I am also excitedly looking forward to reviewing my vendors. Some have been so amazing to work with that I truly want to tell people how wonderful they are in order to bring them to more business. However, there has been one in particular that has been horrible as far as their business know-how goes, and I would encourage people to think twice about them.  Sorry I can’t disclose who is who, but I have still have contracts out. More to come next year, I guess. 

                                                 — 3—       

Living in Colorado, these past few weeks, I have learned that keeping an umbrella in the trunk of your car is not at all helpful.  As I’m sure many of you know, as the flood waters decrease, there is still much damage and people who have been displaced. Please do what you can to help people affected by the flood in CO, most especially, keeping them all in your prayers. 

                                                  — 4—       

I got nothing done last night besides making dinner and talking to people.  Even though when I first thought about it, I felt like nothing on my to-do list really got complete, I realized there is nothing better than feeling connected to some of the people in your life that matter.  I only wish I had the time to talk to everyone I miss so much!

                                                  — 5—       

I am quite resistant to technology change. And frankly, I don’t know much about the technology that exists now. That being said, I still cannot decide if I want to upgrade my iPhone to iOS7. It looks cool, but different, and I don’t know how I will warm up to that. I like some of the features, and group messaging looks great, but I’m still so undecided. Anyone love or hate it? In the meantime, I will be scouring the Internet researching for something to sway my option. 

                                                   — 6—       

Not only do I not know much about technology, but apparently I am just prone to destroying it. Long story short, I can’t keep lattes by my keyboard anymore. Having a sticky keyboard to clean this morning might be ok if this was the first time it had happened… or even the second.                                               
                                                   — 7—      

This video has been getting a crazy amount of hits. A co-worker showed it to me about two weeks ago, and I can't believe how much buzz I have seen surrounding it since. Not only that, but within our events team, it has come up a lot-inside and outside of the office. 

My friend who student taught in Norway said their educational system has a great emphasis on creativity. Apparently so. In case you are looking for something to make you laugh this afternoon...                                             
Well, with that, happy Friday!
 
Today is my Uncle Mark’s 60th birthday, and we miss him very much.  After an 11-month long battle with brain cancer, he passed away August 12, about a month short of 60.  We were all hoping and thinking about how we could make this day special for him. Pam, who was a wonderful companion and a huge help with caretaking over the past year, had planned a Bob Chin’s lobster dinner and balloons galore to decorate. 

Now as the big day is here, there is no party and no balloons, just a quiet remembrance of a man who, for nearly 60 years, spent his time improving the lives of his family and friends. At the wake, all the remarks we were given were of how my uncle would drop everything just to help someone change a tire or fix something around the house.  He spent years taking care of his mother, my grandmother, during the advanced stages of her dementia. He gave, and gave and gave.

He is the only uncle that I have, and the family member who lived the closest to me growing up, so he was never extended family, just family. I learned so much from my uncle growing up.  He introduced me to music with his keyboard when I was just a baby.  He taught me trigonometry and was always explaining to me how things work. He had incredible professional accomplishments, and in spite of how much pride we have always had in his company, Path Electronics, more than that, I will remember how he taught me to whip my ice cream to make it like soft serve. I’ll remember the hours he spent helping me to produce my third grade news broadcasts.

And perhaps the best moment, I will remember the time we spent two summers ago.  I made several visits there before I left for my new job in Colorado.  During one visit, he took me out dinner and we were talking about my new job.  I was a little disillusioned because I had not yet received any support from family about taking on a job as missionary where I had to raise my own salary, mostly just people who thought I was crazy. What he told me changed my perspective forever. Uncle Mark told me that pursuing the career you love is what matters. “The money will come, but it’s not what is important. As long as you are working toward your dreams and enjoying what you do, you have plenty of time to build up your income.  But if you aren’t doing something you care about, then you are wasting your time. You should never have to feel bad or justify yourself for that.”  I have never looked at my life the same way before. 

And to honor my uncle, I will always try to make sure that I am living for what really matters—for my family, friends, my dreams, and theirs.  Uncle Mark left us a shining example of how you live for what you really believe and for what and whom you really love. He left us all with so many wonderful memories. He did not leave a life untouched, but with his generous attitude, he made each person feel loved. And we all remember him with some sadness because we miss him, some laughs because he always cracked the best jokes, and countless great stories.

Here’s to you, Uncle Mark! Happy 60th birthday! You are always in our thoughts and prayers.   

 
For years I have tried to reconcile being a detail-oriented planner with being a good follower of Christ. There is so much talk about how we need to surrender things and, for lack of a better phrase, “let go and let God.” So I would tend to consider my nature extra sinful, as I am prone to making decisions and thinking through the logistics.

I'll be the first to admit, I have my controlling moments, and yes, like most people, I do need to work on more trustfully surrendering my life to the will of God, regardless of the situation (Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence will shake up anyone’s world- give it a read sometime). But aside from that, for a while, there was still the anxiety that I was doing something wrong. I’m not even really sure what made this anxiety go away. Probably much is due to prayer, and the fact that event coordinators plan, plan, plan, but we have to be incredibly flexible because last minute changes are just a part of the job, and of life.

We all have our particular abilities and strengths, and we should exercise and even improve them.  Details are just one of mine. In Mass a few days ago the priest said something that struck me in his homily. He was talking about married life versus religious.  He commented that married people really have to live in the realities of this world. There is just no way around it.  There are so many details that cannot be ignored in order to maintain a life, home, and take care of others. Religious have the opportunity to live a little more ascetic of a lifestyle. So thankfully, my natural strengths should help me better ease into my vocation. This did give me a bit of a paradigm shift.  Maybe I don’t have to focus less on keeping life in order, but rather I can make these details, as part of my vocation, part of what allows me to grow in holiness.

It reminds me of the time I was venting to a priest about how I felt I just couldn’t make enough time to pray as much as I felt I should—to which he replied, “Well you don’t live in a monastery!” He reminded me that having a job, relationships, and daily tasks is part of life, and we have to embrace all of it- so long as we are including prayer as a part of our lives. 

We can’t ignore the world and the details. We live in the world even though we are not of the world. And to function, society needs the free spirits, the innovative thinkers, and those with an eye for logistics. So use whatever your gifts are for the betterment of your vocation, your life, and your world.